How can I turn my little “devil” back into an angel without being bad mommy?

Added on February 10, 2012 3 comments

How can I turn my little “devil” back into an angel without being bad mommy?
My 21 month old has gone from being a really good boy, to throwing tantrums, kicking, hitting, hair pulling, biting, etc!!! My husband and I don’t let him get away with it and we do discipline him, so I don’t think he’s doing it because he’s “spoiled”. I’m just not sure what to do and I sometimes feel like I’m crawling out of my skin with frustration!! Yelling doesn’t work, speaking firmly and saying “no” doesn’t work and even spanking doesn’t work (no, I don’t spank him hard for those of you ready to jump on the warpath). The biting in particular bothers me….he leaves bruises and there is no warning. Yesterday I got him a “naughty chair” where he will have time-outs, so we’ll see if it works. Any other advice and tips from moms who have been there would be appreciated! Thanks!

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Answer by xxunloved_little_angelxx
1 minute of time-out for each year of age. If you’re at home and he’s throwing a tantrum, drop down to the floor and have a tantrum, too. It’ll show him how ridiculous he’s being. Works with my 11-month-old, anyway. In public, try whispering or singing in his ear. If he’s the curious sort, he’ll likely calm down so he can hear what you’re saying.

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Written by anne_deezoff about 3 months ago.

Every time he committs a moderate to major offense (ignore the minor ones), tell him firmly, “we do not _______”. Then sit him down in his time out chair for 1.5 to 2 minutes. Then…and this is extremely important…when you find him behaving correctly, responding with his words instead of biting, etc, tell him right then you “love how is he _________.” THEN later on, take him aside on your lap and tell him how much you loved seeing him “__________” AND tell him it shows you that he is becoming such a big boy. The big boy part is necessary.

Edited to add: I left out an important part. After you tell him what a big boy he is becoming, spend 5 to 15 minutes doing something fun with him. You have to do it immediately after telling him that he is becoming a big boy.
Written by Tom C about 3 months ago.

I’m interested to know why you think fathers wouldn’t be able to answer your question.

21 month olds are communications experts. They don’t speak much but they are excellent in deciphering body language and tone of voice. What he is ‘hearing’ from you is not setting well with him. He is acting out and asking you in the best way he knows to set guidelines because he is scared. He needs the comfort of knowing just how far he can go (boundaries) and that you really care about him. When you start to communicate to him that you really want him to do (whatever it is) and that he IS going to do it, then he will relax more because you are setting a boundary that he can appreciate.

He probably didn’t start this behavior overnight and it probably won’t go away overnight. You must be focused on the goal and firm at all times. Your son was sent to you for a purpose. He is yours to train. He is NOT your friend or companion although at times he will be friendly and will be around you.

The word ‘discipline’ comes from Latin and means to teach. I wonder how you are teaching him. With kids, there is no user’s manual and so what is effective we sometimes have to discover. You listed some of the things that you found that didn’t work. That means you are getting closer to finding those that do.

Two more things: stop referring to him as your ‘devil’. He picks up on that too. And there are no bad mommies. Just ignorant ones and apathetic ones. Clearly you are not the latter.
Written by lovililadi about 3 months ago.

I have recently been having the same problem with my 24-month old daughter. I tried yelling and spanking, but this hasn’t seemed to work….it only made the situation worse. Yesterday I gave her time out and completely ignored her attempt to act out until she calmed down and IT WORKED! As a child my parents never gave me time out……..didn’t believe in it………they would hit first and ask questions later, but this method has proven not to work for me. I think this is normal for children in their age groups to act out in this manner…….i think the naughty chair is a good idea. I would avoid eye contact and any acknowledgement of his actions until he calms down and tells you what he wants or what is bothering him.

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